As long as  the butterfly persists in the company of caterpillars, it will feel like a freak. -Monster


Listen to Never Alone 

by One Chill #kpop


귀하 또는 지인들 중 자살 경향으로 어려움을 겪고 계신다면

 자살예방센터 핫라인으로 지금 전화하십시오.

Call a hotine today if you are currently experiencing an existential crisis.

If you experience chronic existential crisis over a prolonged period of time, schedule a diagnostic appointment with a neuropsychologist as soon as possible. (CTE) Chronic Trauma Encephalopathy is a result of chronic traumatic brain injuries. A neuropsychologist can assess the level of damage, and recommend actually effective therapeutic measures.

“Freedom is what we do with what is done to us.” -Jean Paul Sartre





“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world." -Marianne Williamson





"You may crush us and break us at will, but forgiveness may hide in a grief;

Forgiveness; sweet unction of fragrance; bruised from a geranium leaf." -Sophia May Eckley


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Do you struggle with addiction after having been bullied; or are you the bully?

"When researchers studied the connection between bullying and substance abuse, however, their findings were somewhat unexpected. While substance abuse did correlate to bullying, it was the bullies themselves who were more likely to abuse drugs and alcohol, not the victims, according to one study."

Bullying can have severe physical, social, psychological, and emotional impacts on children and teenagers. It can lead to a range of issues, including serious illnesses, regular smoking, and mental health disorders. Learn the connection between bullying and substance abuse among kids, at The Recovery Village.

Being Bullied

Leads to Addiction



The Recovery Village


Bullying by Proxy

If you've ever said to someone, who told you they're being bullied; to "let it go", "don't make waves", or advised them not to defend/protect themselves by telling them "it would just cause drama", or "that's not what they said/meant"; then YOU actually bullied the victim, while the original bully enjoys the power and control he has  over both of you now, by inciting you to carry their water. You have just become, a "flying monkey" for a narcissist. (This is a clinical term, so feel free to Google it for more information.) When you prevent a victim from reclaiming their power, you become a "bully by proxy". If you want to be a codependent nervous Nelly, that's you're prerogative, but please do it with your mouth shut so you don't harm the mental health of someone who has already been harmed. Does my tenor make you uncomfortable? Imagine how your friend felt when you let some narcissist get away with hurting them. If you are the bully by proxy, I advise you to scroll down and read or listen to, "Codependent No More" by Melanie Beattie. If you see someone being bullied, open your mouth to stop it and protect the victim, or sit idly by thankful it's not you if you're too solipsistic to give a damn; but the minute you speak up for the bully, you ARE the second bully on the scene. Be the good guy instead, the world need more. We don't need more bullies. If you hurt me, no one notices; but if I defend myself, now it's drama? Fuck you. People have the right to take their power back, and that is none of your business how.

If you have been the victim of bullying, and someone further negates your power (telling you it would cause drama to defend yourself; or otherwise disempowering you, instructing you to stand down), they have just aligned themselves with the bully; ignore the "bully by proxy". As far as the bully; stand up for yourself, ignoring the peanut gallery telling you not to. It's your power that bully took; you have the absolute right to take it back.. Take your power back any way you can. Let them know you won't tolerate mistreatment. You have the right to be treated kindly and respectfully; don't settle for less.

Also please remember; blocking protects only you; reporting protects others as well. Keep our community safe by refraining from making excuses for bad actors. People you think are such a great person, but they are rude to women, introverts, or people not confident with their English... then they aren't a nice person. Do you want to be throwing up pom poms for narcissists? Then pay more attention to who people are before you go tooting their horn. 

You have the right to be safe, but so do the people you engage with. You don't want to accidentally bring a wolf in sheep's clothing into the henhouse. Bad actors a re clever, highly intelligent, and charming. Be wise to it; and your mental health will benefit greatly. I love you. Be safe.

"People will tell a depressed person all sorts of things to make them feel better. The problem is, before we can drink the water, or go out in nature, listen to uplifting music, get exercise, or socialize; first we have to step back from the ledge. Before a caterpillar can become a butterfly, first it has to stop being a caterpillar. If you live a low vibration life, you're a caterpillar. Before you can live a high vibe life, you have to stop living against your nature and desires. 

How do you get from feeling like you can't live one more minute like this, to living in your purpose and passion? You can't. Where can you get to? Can you get from self-hatred to self-annoyed? Can you get from depressed to melancholy? The more you practice it, the better you will get at moving your mood up the emotional scale.

Can you get from seething anger to forgiving? No; but you can get from anger to irritated. You can get from irritated to annoyed, and annoyed to bothered, and bothered to unbothered, and from unbothered to compassionate, to understanding, to empathetic, to caring, to forgiveness. It's all a process n matter where you are. Can you go from a suicidal or self harm vibration to happy? No way! You can get from there to sleep, and as you are waking up, whisper or sing to yourself, any song or mantra that is positive. When you wake up, get out of bed immediately, before the emotion of the day can hit you. I don't care if you have to roll out or throw yourself out, just gtfo of bed immediately. Drink room temp water or herbal tea first thing, and let the sunshine see your face for a couple of seconds at the very least, even if you just barely open a curtain. Now you can do whatever the next best self care thing you think you might be capable of, then on to the next, until you can move on to the activities and thoughts that will save your life. First, get up off the floor. You can do it. I know, because this is how I have survived so long. 

Could I have CTE?